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Friday, June 18, 2004

Yes, I forgot to link to the last column. My bad. The hilariously named Tata Young has one of the more pleasing and ear-catching ones mentioned therein: Believe

Also, if you are insane, you're probably wondering if the O-Zone album is any good. It is not. This is the second-best song off it. Sabatoarea Noptilor De Vara. The backing vocals remind me a touch of NKoTB. That may not be a good thing. The whistling is, perhaps.
 
# 10:47 PM []
THE CROSS-EUROPE CHART CHALLENGE... of Death! SWITZERLAND
Repeats: Eamon (0), Haiducii (5).

1. O-ZONE - Dragostea Din Tei. Now this is more like it, isn't it? Giddy, wonky pop glee, utterly nonsensical and by gosh isn't it wonderful that Western Europe is now suffering through this delightful pain? Rest of their album is really bad though, Dar Unde Esti possibly excepted. 9

4. MARIO PACCHIOLI - By Your Side. Another Eurovision hangover, this one didn't even beat Celebrate! in the Swiss play-off. Sort of a gangly pop-soul thing minus the soul, probably sung by someone wearing an ill-fitting suit, or so it sounds. 1

5. MARIO WINANS - I Don't Wanna Know. The truth is, I hate Enya. Sorry. It was only a vaguely decent idea when The Fugees did it and despite the rather different mood of the piece, it's still frigging Enya. 4

6. BRITNEY SPEARS - Everytime. Hooray! The track that passed everyone by as they sampled In The ZOne is revealed as one of its genuine highlights. She's all wavery and upset on this one and her voice does it just right, like it did on the momentously good Born To Make You Happy all those years ago. Great bridge too, lovely tinkly piano-cum-music-box feel, very felt indeed. 9

7. BABY BASH - Suga Suga. I cannot type this name without typing "baby bush". Still faintly worthy in delivery but utterly unexciting competent R&B by a most unfortunately named person. Is his album called "Menage a Trois" or is that some other artist along the same line? 3

8. USHER - Yeah. I like to imagine Anal Cunt doing a diss track to Usher. It would go something like this: USHER YOU HAVE A TINY HEAD! TINY HEAD! TINY HEAD! USHER YOU DESERVE TO BE DEAD! TINY HEAD! TINY HEAD! He may have already been mentioned this round but I forgot to use the rubbish joke last time, so there we go. 2

9. SOUL CONTROL - Chocolate (Choco Choco). Is this song old? I have a feeling I've heard it before. Well in the sense that the chorus is sung to the tune of "La Bamba", with a Lou Bega-esque "choco-choco", some Spanish counting and a level of dippy repetition that would make DJ Casper commit ritual suicide. Catchy, but in a none-too-pleasant fashion. 1

10. BLUE - Breathe Easy. Oh, jesus, not again. As the always-helpful Jessica pointed out, I've done this one too. 0

Gott in Himmel, that was dire, wasn't it? 34. Nothing there's worth posting. Average after 4 rounds is 38.25.
 
# 10:46 PM []

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Hilariously, the Italian charts updated today leaving the below now wrong. Oh well, they were right at the time. Anyway, out of the mass of not-particularly interesting stuff, this cheery, cheesy disco-dance tune has climbed 12 spots to #32, and even though it is not a Belinda Carlisle cover, I enjoyed it.

Paps'n'Skar - Mirage (La Luna)
 
# 8:31 PM []

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

THE CROSS-EUROPE CHART CHALLENGE... of Death! ITALY
Repeats: Anastacia (10), Usher (2).

1. BLUE - A Chi Mi Dice. I don't think I could identify a Blue song in isolation. I have never liked them, but at least they were distinctive at the start. This is just one of their rubbish songs in another language, and I honestly can't remember which. Guilty, possibly. Did that one have a hilarious guitar bit in it? 0

2. MARLENE KUNTZ - Fingendo La Poesia. With a name like that, does Popbitch know about it? Anyway, this is reasonable, although I get the impression that sometimes there are just too many syllables in some of the lines meaning it sort of scans funny, particularly in the verses. Example: on the line "chiasso di una galassia magica", it sounds like the line should finish about two syllables before it does, which I suppose in some ways gives this a strange, interesting sound. Absolutely the furthest thing imaginable from exciting, though. 5

5. MAROON 5 - This Love. I don't think I've ever made my feelings on this song clear, but I still like it very much, quite a surprise because nothing else they've done - either in this or their previous incarnation (Kara's Flowers, a perennial bargain bin clogger) has held the slightest interest. This fine post says more than I can be bothered writing about a record this old. 8

6. EAMON - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back). It should come as absolutely no surprise that I now absolute hate this rather than being baffled by it. 0

7. AVRIL LAVIGNE - Don't Tell Me. Has grown in stature with every listen, though even the most cursory hearings of the album reveals it as a bizarre choice of the album's first single in the face of at least seven songs that would have been better. Yep, her album is that good. 8

8. MAX PEZZALI/883 - Lo Strano Percorso. Amiable enough strummer, rather like the Andorran Eurovision entry this year but not as good. 4

9. HAIDUCII - Dragostea Din Tei. I cannot ethically endorse spoiler records as they are always not as good. This remains not as good as O-Zone's version. 5

10. BRITNEY SPEARS - Toxic. This remains utterly incendiary pop at its finest, but you knew that. 10

52, and none of the home-grown hits in the 10 are worthy of posting... but will post something from 11-50 at some point when I have a moment. Total: 216. Average: 54
 
# 10:06 PM []

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

RACHEL STEVENS - Some Girls
Hooray! I go away for 5 days and this finally leaks and it's great. You can hear Richard X's signature bleary, cloudy sound all over this, but la Stevens is barely recognisable. Which is just how it should be, her acting as a blank slate with no discernable personality to get in the way of what is, to put it in the basest possible terms, a tune!

She really doesn't have a distinctive voice at all, but she brings her precise sense of phrasing- the secret weapon nobody could have predicted before she wowed us with Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex , especially in her "a hit/a miss" interlude, which means that she blends into the background like another instrument at times and at others she's all over it. It's actually the same trick Richard X pulled on his albums, wherein he basically made some great singers subservient to his sonic collages (Javine, Sugababes for instance being BURIED ALIVE by lush electro soundscapes, no mean feat) and the repeated-word choruses is a sharp vocal hook despite not being strictly speaking a melodic lightning spark. Anyway, I'm no longer disappointed that it is not a semi-cover of the Racey song. There's an MP3 of this at http://www.rachelstevensonline.com.
 
# 7:28 PM []
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